Cordon Verde = Ugly

As I mentioned in the earlier programming note, I recently relocated to Brazil. And not just anywhere in Brazil, but the southernmost state of Rio Grande do Sul, which is renowned for its churrasco (Brazilian barbecue). Sooo I am really out of my element here in the state capital of Porto Alegre, deep in cow-land, and am often looked at a little funny when I ask for things sem carne (without meat). But I am managing! Surprisingly, wonderfully, there is a small veggie scene here with a few great restaurants and some soy products at the grocery stores.

So far, unfortunately, the availability of said soy products has been sporadic at best. I once found veggie dogs at one grocery store, but haven't seen them there since. Sometimes the stores stock veggie burgers, sometimes they don't. But one company that always seems to have at least a veg*n product or two available at every grocery store is Perdigão.

Perdigão doesn't just make vegetarian products; they also make a range of meat products and frozen entrées, which I believe are more popular here than are their veggie options. But no matter - I am glad they offer animal-free options at all! So I was passing by their rather large section of frozen goods one day when the words proteína de soja (soy protein) jumped out at me. They were on a box of a product called Cordon Verde Vegetal ("Vegetable Cordon Green" instead of "Cordon Bleu" - cute).

The ingredients listed included no animal products whatsoever - nice! - and a decent amount of protein/etc., so I grabbed the box and headed on my merry way. Once home, I followed the microwave instructions for preparing an individual portion. The listed cooking time seemed kind of lengthy for one small filet, but I figured Perdigão knew their stuff better than I would, so I did exactly as told.

Aaaand the cordon verde came out terrible. Oh so very terrible. The crumbly breaded exterior had now hardened into firm little pebbles. It took a good steak knife and a few Portuguese curse words to cut through the filet, and when I finally managed it, the gooey, creamy interior that I had expected turned out to have dried out completely. (Remember that scene in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, where they cut open in the turkey and a sort of dry cough of smoke puffs out? It was like that.) The sauce apparently disappeared and became part of one grey sandy mass. But I was not to be defeated! I sawed through my little cordon verde and ground my teeth through at least five or six bites. (And then I gave up.)

The most reasonable conclusion would be that I simply overcooked the product, no? It would seem that I simply had to adjust my cooking time! After all, from what I could taste of it, there was nothing overtly offensive about the flavouring. So I later grabbed another one, microwaved for about half the listed time, and hoped for the best. No dice. The cordon verde was admittedly much more moist this time, but the texture was still very strange, the sauce was generally indistinguishable from the veggie-meat, and the flavour was salty-bland at best.

So... Will I buy this again? I wish I could say no, but given my quasi-limited options at the moment, I might not have a choice! At least it was vegan, affordable, and mostly nutritious. Maybe if I cover it in some ketchup it'll be more bearable. I'll let you know.

Product and nutrition info: http://www.perdigao.com.br/comidadeverdade/_produtosDetalhes.cfm?produto=120